British Foosball Association

ENGLAND THRASH NIGERIA

Daily Star's article on World Cup Spoof

We blow 'em away

VICTORIOUS England have thrashed Nigeria 3-0 - setting off scenes of wild celebration. Another blistering performance left England unbeaten and Nigeria going home without a win. But the sweet victory was not in Japan - it came from a Daily Star team who took on the Nigerians at table football.

It was hero Becks who blasted home the third goal - sending fans into a mad frenzy. But Nigerian fans said Becks had cheated with an illegal strike at the ball claiming he had used the outlawed spinning technique.

With the Nigerian World Cup football team already out of the cup, the Daily Star's reporters and Page 3 girls took on Nigerian fans at their most favourite restaurant in Britain. The showdown was held at was held at Obalende Suya Spot - before this mornings crunch World Cup match - as Super Eagles' fans flocked to watch the match on a giant screen.

The Daily Star got the upper hand with some dazzling wrist action from reporter Gary Nicks on England's right side - a possible dress rehearsal for a Beckham. Nicks was bending it like Beckham - with the help of the restaurant's uneven floor - as he whipped a third goal in off the post.

It sparked jubilant flag-waving from Page Three girls Nicola, Serena, Jessica and Jo. But because we had banned spinning, the Nigerians moaned that it was a victory of English tactical planning over African flair for Nicks and Ross Karduk. So we agreed to take on their challenge of blow football. But Page 3 beauty JessicaS lungs proved too much for restaurant owner Toks Odeburimi as she notched up a 3-2 win.

After a break for the traditional Nigerian stewed dumpling dish, Moi Moi, we chose the next sport - backgammon. This time Ade Alokolaro was made to look a dumpling by Serena, a secret backgammon fanatic.

Nigerian captain Toks, a pal of the country's World Cup squad, moaned: "In Nigeria. we don't play backgammon. No other sport comes near football. The only indoor sport we are remotely interested in is cards." So cards it svas for sport number four.

This time Ladv Luck was also smiling on ihe English when the dealer handed us an unbeatable poker hand. With England triumphant at all four games. the Nigerians gave up.

TOKS said: "We'llbeat you in an English pub at your own pub games - pool and darts." Kaniuk- kept quiet about his pub darts league experience to edge a tight battle. That left pool for England to complete a 6-0 win. Toks put the black in off the cue ball, handing England a clean sweep.

Beaten Toks and Ade were left crying in their Nigerian palm wine, as our team toasted victory with the first of many beers. " Story taken from DAILY STAR, Wednesday, June 12 2002.